Daddy's lil Angel n Mummy's pwincess...

A sudden craving f0r dAd's l0ve...his t0uch aNd his prEsence...s0methiNgs tAt i have
miSsed 0ut 0n the lAst fEw yEars...Due t0 seVeral Reas0ns and ciRcumStances...i Had t0 leaVe my father t0 Stay wiF m0ther..Sista...and Step fathEr...

here's h0w i grEw up....

My enTerance t0 thE w0rld..











Daddy's lil aNgel....MuaxXx...








My Mumzi's pwinceZ!!!

i remEmber beinG t0tally sp0iled by b0th my pArents...th0se wEre dAys whEre A smAll cry aNd thE w0rld iS at my fEet...hAiz...

then...

thE t0tally c0vered me..hahaas...

i tend t0 gEt a lil Suspiscious t0o....

s0...my fun filled life when 0n...0n and on...and then...Dya has finAlly turNed 1!!!!

.....i turNed one and bEcame m0re naughTy as well(inf0r fr0m fatHer)...

Mum And Dad cArryin Dya t0 cut cAke...I'm ady fAllin acTually!!

Daddy h0ldin his angEl cl0se t0 him...n0t kn0win these will be the lasT few cl0se m0ments hE's g0nna bE haVin wiF me...:(...

As time wEnt...thani came al0ng t0o...We wEre f0ur t0gether...There wEre l0vin times my sis n I shAred t0geTher ...
hahas...and there wEre als0 times..Where We c0nQueRed fAther t0gether...
Like tiS...
Tats the wAy!!!!

Thats h0w haPpy i rEmembEr mY chiLdh0od wAs...And n0w eVentuallY....i Have n0 idEa h0w thiNgs eNdEd up tiS waY!!!f0r the last 15 yEars...i Went ar0und eNvyin Every1 else wh0se faTher Carried thEm t0 sKl...FetcheD them bk after their CCA...Came f0r paRents meEt...The w0rst wAs fAther's dAy!!!i hAtred tAt dAe s0o bAdly As i hAd n0 idEa whEre mY fAthEr wAs..h0w he is...wads he d0in..n0thin!!!.i Missed hiM s0 bAdly aNd w0uld aT timEs wiSh t0 at lEast Bump int0 hiM s0meWhere 0utside 0r aT leaSt in a Bus 0 tRain...but n0thin seemEd t0 Be hAppen...

tHats Wen i st0le mY faTher's sista"s n0 fr0m my m0ther's hp N g0t in t0uch wiF my Dad again!!!th0se wEre the m0mEnts 0f life i HaVe really waiTed f0r...alth0ugh i c0uld n0t keEp in t0uch wiF hiM 0ften f0r the fEar 0f my m0ther....i 0ften did my prAyers f0r faTher t0 stAy healtHY n bleSsed...afTer lyk praCtically a Year 0f keepiN in t0uch...He askEd me N my Sista 0ut t0 wAtch a m0vie aT the Place whEre hE waS w0rkiN...Lid0...

We Went t0day!!!0ne l0ok at My fatHer and my HeaRt sank!!!!!he l0okeD s0o rUn d0wn...hE l0st s0o muCh 0f weight c0mpared t0 wad i imAgined him t0 be lyk...f0r a m0ment i t0ld thani...iF oni i c0uld haVe takEn cAre 0f him...hE w0uld n0t be in Tis stEad...i Ran t0 him aNd held 0nt0 hiS handS...f0r thAts wAd i wAnted all tiS tym...I finAlly g0t it todae!!he br0ught us t0 g0 wAtch New m0on...hahaazz...

At the threatre..He kePt bRingin uS t0 all hiS w0rkin c0llegues and intr0ducin his 2 daughTers...0n 1 hand...i feel pr0ud tAt i n thAni maDe faTher's dAe but 0n the Other haNd...h0w must he be feelin When he wAs intr0ducin his 20 n 19 years 0ld dAughters t0 0thers...aT tis age..its us wh0 sh0uld be bringin 0ur paRents ar0und intr0ducin thEm t0 0thers...bUt here...Ther's a fAther wh0 is intr0ducinG his gr0wn up daughters juz beC0z he wAs n0t preSent duriNg 0ur gr0win yeArs...

0ne side 0f sAdness...yEt an0ther side 0f relief...c0z i'm n0w wif him aDy...i s0 happy!!!after thE m0vie...hE t0ok us t0 g0 eat...aNd juz As we Were all eating..i n tHani reAlised fAther's eAtin hAbits n minE werE 100/100 Same!!!i n father juz smilEd at Each 0ther c0z its expeCted...:P...

My fAther always t0ld me..bE it my happpy m0ments...
....

Sad and aNgry times....
....

In my m0st c0nfuSed state...
...i always l0oked lyk him...sh0uted lyk him...Acc0rding t0 him..i wAS a real Stubb0rn and difficult child t0 handle...That explaiNed h0w mY faTher was t0o...:P...ANd my Fav0urite m0vie whEn i wAs y0ung wAs manNan..And he t0ld me that i w0uld beg him evEry dae t0 play that m0vie and when thE m0vie wAs 0n..i w0uld actually be tellin him the next scene that iS abt t0 happEn and N0t let him Watch..haha..tHese are mem0ries 0f me tAt my fAther kept....
He kept menti0nin abt me...My sis...MY m0ther...And yeS....he c0nfeSsed...He still l0ve my m0ther...Sweet yEt itS reaLly 0f n0 uSe anym0re...But that d0es n0t make a DIffErence t0 me...i'm sTill his dAughter n hE is sTill my fAther!!And i'll l0ve hIm n0 maTter wAd...hiS hanDs shall be th0se thAt i'll h0ld 0nt0 While walkiN d0wn the iSle As i gEt maRried...That my 0nli wiSh...

s0 till then Father g0d...bless my fatHer wif 0verwhelmin blessiNgs...pr0tEct him fr0m all haRm...sickness n disease...bLess hiM wif g0od Health n Wealth...HappineSS n Wisd0m t0 paSs by eAch dAe...Carry him thr0ugh hiS t0ughesT p0int in lyf aNd lEt him n0e Tat y0u aRe alwAys theRe n0maTa wad...i thAnk y0u fAther 0d f0r y0ur l0ve aNd f0rgiveneSs f0r WadevA he hAs d0ne...I thank n prAy all thEse in JESUS name..AMEN!!!..

ph0t0s takEn Wif fathEr!!

..Father!!!i askEd y0u t0 smiLe!!!...


still n0 diffErence..Haiz!!!i give up!!...

..i'm g0nna take 1 0n my 0wn!!:P..
The veRy vEry haPpy me!!!my Dream cAMe thRu..i f0und myself my prinCe first(alaDdin)...anD n0w...my dAd!!!yeah Yeah!!!

at last!!!
.....I'm aLways...My dAddy's Lil Angel!!!n0w anD f0reVA...itS his pr0misE t0 me!!!

A cErtain s0rr0w tAt i wiSh t0 hiDe..

There is Certain s0rr0w in My haRt tat i Wish t0 hiDe...
Painful Mem0ries...hAuntiNg t0ts...0verfl0win teArs...A br0ken hart...N a l0st gal...
tHat all i can desCribe mySelf as...All thEse happeN in tHe namE 0f l0ve...

A yeAr baCk..i mEt this guy...We met bY fAte...And We gave 0urselves a cHance t0 gEt t0gether aNd t0 see where life tAkes us t0..i Fell in l0ve...And He claimed hE fell iN l0ve..bUt thEse wAs Wad hAppEn...

I l0ved him..He t0rtureD me..I l0ved him...He batteRed me Up..I l0ved hiM...He AbusEd me in eVeryWay...I l0ved him..He failEd t0 unDerstaNd Tat i waS n0t a d0ll n tAt i wAs actUally a gal wh0 desErved t0 bE l0ved iN rEturN...i l0ved him...He made fake pr0mises t0 chAnge anD he Hurt mE even m0re...I still l0ved Him...He hAd me as his Slave And behaVed lyk A beAst And thE neXt thinG i knew...I was lyin d0wn theRe..in bl0od...BrUiseS...pAin....ExpeCtin tAt eveN n0w...After seeIn thE staTe i'm in..He will chAnge and Everythin w0uld Get bAck t0 n0rmal...But n0...mY TrusT wAs all in Vein...And thEn....After a vEry l0ng tiMe...When i Had tAken the first Step t0 m0ve 0n in lYf...He l0ved me...But i lEft...
0n My paRt...i Had n0 m0re l0ve t0 give him...he br0ke d0wn all The little h0pe..Dreams tat i had...

I w0re A maSk and CheatEd evEry1 wh0m i knEw...i Gave Every1 Fake smiles...prEtendEd tat my Lyf Was GreAt!!..Alth0ugh it Was upsiDe d0wn...Cried in Silence...c0ns0led myseLf in mY m0st DespeRate m0ments...TriEd t0 igN0re The liMeligHt...But i c0uld n0t laSt the Drama f0r l0ng..i g0t cAught...And Wen tAt happEned...i Realise i Had Falled dEep int0 my 0wn GravE and The 0nli tHing i c0uld d0 wAs t0 Cry my hArt 0ut and Get d0ne 0ver Wif wAd haD haPpened And m0ve 0n in Lyf...

Juz aS i wAs m0ving...i ReAlise Tat his Shad0w f0ll0wEd me...It haD trAcked Me d0wn n i Was d0omeD!!TheRe wAs n0 wHere tAt i c0uld p0ssibly Run t0..He has Pr0mised t0 be my Shad0w f0r aS l0ng as he can t0 make my lyf misErable...

Till tHis m0ment it timE...i n0e tAt he is sTill f0ll0win me aNd n0maTa wHere i g0...hE will cuM finDin f0r me...

I've tried my beZ t0 m0ve 0n in lyf bUt the faCt tat my haRt will always be w0unded is undeniable...A certain w0und tat cAn Neva bE Healed due t0 the am0unt 0f sufferin i went thru al0ne....n0mata h0w haRd i'm tryin t0 f0rget everythin...I juz dun sEem t0 be able t0 f0rGet anithin...i Cry myself t0 bEd...f0rce myselF t0 laugh..Wad m0re cAn i d0...I'm living a fake life...

But in tHese fAke lyf...There iS 0ni 1 trutH...i'm still Yearnin f0r tat 0ne s0ul..wh0m i n0e..havE beEn waitiN there f0r me patiEntly and Silently...still l0ving mE despite thE fact tAt i've m0ved 0n and SufferEd the w0rst AspeCts 0f a galfren...He will bE the Medicine t0 my br0ken Hart..
I can Assure Myself Tat...

i dun mean t0 hurt ani1 wif Wad i'm sayin...but this is Wad i rEally fEel..i dun Wanna liE t0 ani1 by Sayin tAt i've g0tten 0ver EverythiN Wen i'm still suFferin in sIlence...
I believe Time will heal w0unds...But eVen theN...it 0nly ReferS t0 s0me w0unds...

Deep d0wn thE aByss 0f DarkNess...

My first p0st afTer s0 l0ng...well h0w d0 i start...
i stArted 0ff aS a gal wif a n0rmal liFe and eVerythiN wAs pErfeCt...
Wait till i turned back..i Realised taT such a Fact was actually Years ag0...
c0min fr0m a quite n0rmal bacKgr0und...i Am expEcted t0 d0 well in sTudies..
be A brIght stuDent...hAppy..anD wad eVa shit..but tAt was n0t wAd happEned f0r me...


i ScreWed it all...
i meSsed up EverythiNg tAt was g0ing wEll...
i l0st mY m0ther's truSt...my Family's h0pe..My 0wn self happineSs and finAlly...
After aWhile...I reAlisEd tat The reflEcti0n i saW in thE mirr0r wAs n0t evEn mine!!
I l0st mYself In the j0urney while tryin t0 finD myself..

s0 many times...in my m0st scrEwed uP m0ments in life...thEre was AlwayS s0me1 t0 adVise me..s0me1 t0 tell Me wad t0 d0..s0me1 t0 nag at me..sc0ld me..s0me1 t0 critisize anD s0me1 t0 diScriminate mE...bUt tHere wAs n0t a s0ul wh0 Was willin t0 juz Sit still aNd listEn t0 my plIght Tat i wAs in..jUz listEn...

I felt thE m0st painful thing While bEing pricked At eVery paRt 0f my haRt...
I sufFered in Silence t0o AfraiD tat iF i wAs t0 tell 0thers Abt wad i wAs g0in thrU..i maYbe laughEd at 0r tat thEy w0uld lo0k d0wn 0n me...i YearnEd f0r s0me1 0ut there wh0 w0uld understand eVery feeling 0f minE wif jUz my gesTures...s0me1 wh0 w0uld jUz listEn t0 me while i criEd my hart 0ut aNd strEtch 0ut theIr hanDs wheN i neEded a Hug...

I f0und maNy but 0nli fEw wEre sincEre..f0r tat i g0t t0 thank g0d...s0 s0 muCh...
thE 0nes i reAlly wanNa name arE...
My sis:Thanisha(always there)
My Bil: Guru(pulls me up wheneva i fall)
My Besti:Vani(beZ)
My g0dsistas: bhavani...jahan...(always)
My bUddiEs: Vicky...alvin...raja anneh....chickeez(fun fun!!!)
My Love:Black(treasured foreva)


These are the pe0ple wh0m i have Earned afTer all my hArt brEaks...pr0blems..
i lUrve thEse pe0ple s0 s0 mucH n i Treasure thEm juZ as much...

Well...Tats it f0r n0w...L0ves...